i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
