part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
