Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
