Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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