Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
