I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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