He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
my liver is dry heaving
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
