Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she pinky promised me she was 18
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
