Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
