She is in my trunk
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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