eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
