I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize