Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
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I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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