Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
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