well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
