She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
