I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
