careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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