Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
