So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
