Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
