I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
