They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
