I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
