Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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