We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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