no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
