You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize