He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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