Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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