So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
