So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
