So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
