Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
