once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
