My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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