the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
should my penis look like a turkey
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
