I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize