Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
