She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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