she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
