how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize