I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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