I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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