you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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