I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
