careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
