I will die if light touches me.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
