we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
