Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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