I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
