did you get engaged???
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
