right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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