my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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