You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
