I need help removing her.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
