Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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