Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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