Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
