I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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