So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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