There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
home. puking in laundry basket.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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